23 Things I Learned about College and Life from a ‘23 Grad.

By some funny trick of time my transcript indicates that I graduate college this year, and that I am in fact 22 years old and not an 18 year old coming into college. My friends like to joke that I am the person who gives advice, and while maybe biased, I’d like to think this advice sticks with them throughout the years. So here are some things, and advice, I learned throughout college.

1. What You Put In Is What You Get Out.

It seems so simple and cheesy but as I am about to graduate I see a lot of my senior peers having major regrets about their attitude and actions the last four years. If you skip class, don’t get involved, and neglect your mental health you will probably have a rough time. Create a healthy routine, study hard, join the club, and keep trying. I had a friend once who told me he told himself 100 positive things about himself before he brushed his teeth for the day, whatever works. If you put good in, I promise, you’ll get good out.

2. Get A Job.

Being the friend who can never go out because they “don’t have money” and refuses to work isn’t cute. Having a job teaches discipline outside of the classroom such as time management and managing priorities and hey- gives you some nice spending money while you’re at it. Getting a job also teaches you financial independence and budgeting at an early stage that will help you in the long run. You can have a job and still not miss out on your buzzing social life. 

3. Growing Pains Are Good.

The times I was the most uncomfortable and awkward were the times I learned the most about myself, how I react under pressure, how I connect with others who I have nothing in common with, and how to determine where I truly belong. Maybe for you it’s learning a new language, running for Freshman Senator (and losing like me), or even just being the first one to raise your hand in class. If you never try, you’ll never grow.

4. Go To Class.

Do I really need to explain this one? At the end of the day we are here to graduate. If you want that professor to write you a recommendation or round up that 89.5 to an A, I guarantee they are more likely to if you showed up and maybe even asked a few questions or popped into their office hours. Everyone has to take an 8AM, no one loves it. You’ll regret not going- you won’t regret going.

5. Know Yourself.

Whether it’s a friendship that doesn't feel healthy, relationships that make you cry, or situations that make you anxious. No one knows you like you. If something is not working out and you have tried your best to find the right solution, it is perfectly acceptable to leave. I once dropped a class after the first day because the professor gave me bad vibes, I later learned not a single student received an A in her class that semester. Bullet dodged.

6. Become the Funniest Person You Know.

Maybe you’re the freshman that got locked out of her dorm in a bathrobe, the only senior in a freshman class to fail the test, or kissed the wrong frog. Whatever it is, when you learn to not take things so seriously and laugh at yourself, it takes the power away from others to make you feel invalid, lets you control the narrative and makes the big, scary factors of life not seem so scary anymore.

7. Happy People Don’t Kill Their Husbands.

In the words of the iconic Elle Woods, “Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, and happy people don’t kill their husbands.” Create a healthy workout routine now while you’re young, and your body will thank you for it later. You don’t have to run 13 miles everyday- maybe you enjoy weightlifting, rowing, or tennis. Getting active helps more than just your physical abilities, it's kind to your mind as well.

8. Constantly being nice to everyone can lead to many problems.

If you’re anything like me you were raised to be proper, polite, and always courteous. However, this can contribute to some of your life’s worst regrets if someone takes advantage of this trait in you. I live by Taylor Swift’s phrase “Be like a snake-only bite if someone steps on you”.

9. Embrace the Cringe.

I went through a phase where I wore my mom’s glasses from the 80’s because I thought they looked cool. They did not. Embrace the cringey things you do, laugh, and recognize we all do it.

10. Don’t Make Trauma A Personality Trait.

We’ve all been through tough times sadly. Everyone has a story. However, what you’ve been through and what has happened directly to you doesn’t have to become a part of you. You are not the mistakes of how others treated you poorly or your past failures. Trauma dumping isn’t cool- save it for a therapist, not some boy or a girl you met an hour ago.

11. Call Your Parents.

No, my mom did not beg for this point to be included. If your parents aren’t in your life, call your grandparents, a sibling, whoever is your home. They just want to feel involved in your life as you’re growing up, and hey- they won’t be around forever so let them know you love them when you get the chance.

12. Don’t Be Afraid To Be Seen Trying.

For the longest time I thought going to the benched weight section of the student gym was the scariest thing. I know nothing about lifting weights, and it’s pretty obvious. However, I wanted to get strong, and do something healthy for my body. I had to overcome my fear of people seeing me not knowing how to do something, learning, and maybe even making some mistakes. From something silly like the gym to learning how to ski, or giving a presentation in front of your company, don't let the fear of “looking stupid” stop you from trying something new- everyone is secretly in the same boat.

13. You Cannot Control the Future.

Your anxiety about the future comes from wanting to control it. Everyday for the last four years I woke up telling myself I would go to Harvard Law School, I went to sleep thinking about Harvard Law School, and would have mid-day panic attacks over crafting essays for Harvard Law School. It wasn’t until I actually got into Harvard Law School that I realized I didn’t actually want to go- I just wanted to control the narrative of my life so badly that it created unnecessary stress.

14. Get Over FOMO

I promise you those meticulously planned nights out aren’t going anywhere, anytime soon. While I have had my fair share of fun nights, it’s the movie nights in, painting on the couch, and just chatting it up with my friends that have created the most meaningful memories for me. So while you may feel like you’re “wasting your youth” by skipping a night out, you’re not. Your best friends won’t always live down the hall, or 5 minutes away. Cherish that while you can.

15. Karma is Real.

Karma truly is a relaxing thought. Enough said.

16. Some Relationships Are Not Made For Forever.

When we were little we had this idea in our heads, at least I did, that you would make a kindergarten friend and that one friend would be your BFF for life. While I still have many friends from childhood, a piece of growing up is realizing some relationships, romantic or platonic are not meant for life. They are meant for the current moment where you’re at. That friend who only wants to party is fun when you’re 18, 19, or 20 but maybe not so much beyond college. It’s ok to outgrow friends. Not everyone is on the same journey as us at the same time as us.

17. Disagreeing is not Arguing

Just because someone does not agree with you on something, or anything at all, does not mean they are having an argument with you. So many times I see people get frustrated and say “We don’t have to argue over this” when in reality there’s no argument at all, just two people having an intellectual conversation. Get over avoiding conflict, no one truly enjoys it, but sometimes it is necessary to resolve a situation, to understand both sides present, and even grow both personally and professionally.

18. Embrace Your Body’s Change

From the age of 6 to about 18 I hated my freckles. I would come home from school and scrub my skin raw with a bar of soap praying they would come off. Now, it’s a beauty trend to draw on fake freckles. It’s a long process that does not happen overnight and everyone struggles with self image but learning to love your body creates such a positive outlook on all aspects of your life. My weight has fluctuated so much throughout my life and it should not have taken a scary medical diagnosis to appreciate all it does for me instead of obsessing over the number on my clothes’ tag. Love your body, you only have one. (And wear sunscreen)

19. Imposter Syndrome is Real

During my internships, jobs, and even interviews the last few years it felt as if I was waking up, putting on my mother’s clothes and pretending I knew what it was to be an adult working all day. I would go to these professional places feeling like an 8 year old on Bring your Child to Work Day. I didn’t feel like I deserved any praise for my accomplishments or the competitive programs I was accepted to. This is so common for young people in today’s society. You have to recognize you were hired because you are capable, you were accepted because you are smart, and you deserve the praise you’re getting because you’ve worked so hard to get there.

20. Apologize.

Expressing remorse to someone you deeply care about for any harm caused does not diminish your worth or value. Even if the harm done was not intentional, it is important to offer a genuine apology and refrain from making excuses. Learn to make sincere apologies.

21. Comparison is the Game You Never Win.

We all know the photos posted are heavily edited, that the happiest girl you know isn’t always happy, and the grass isn’t always greener yet so many times we fall victim to making ourselves feel less than due to comparisons. Someone will always be richer, prettier, faster, and maybe even smarter in certain subject areas. Learn to be content with yourself and you’ll find you stop comparing yourself to everything and everyone. There is peace in not caring so much.

22. What’s Shiny Now, Will Rust Later.

Attractive boys or girls will get older, that car’s paint will fade in the sun, and the heels will get dirt on them. Everything at some point in time will fade, not all that glitters is truly gold. Learn to prioritize what’s important now; people, activities, and even what’s important to stress over, so you don’t get caught up in the shiny later on in life.

23. Letting Go Is Tough.

No one in life can ever be tougher on me than myself. It doesn’t matter what it is: the free throw shot I missed in the fifth grade when we were down by one, the paper I got a C on, or the jobs I didn’t get. No one can punish me in the mental ways I punish myself. Maybe one of the hardest things I have had to learn the last few years is to forgive myself for loving the wrong boy at 18, telling secrets to the wrong people, and failing so many times. Go on, take a deep breath, and put the past behind you.