For my entire life, I have looked up to my older sister Abby. I would always look at her and dream of becoming even a little bit as amazing as she seemed in my eyes. I did everything she did to try and be just like her. I took the same classes in high school and did the same extracurricular activities she did just to be the closest I could be to becoming a mini Abby Whitaker. Being in these same environments with many of the same leaders, it was natural that those around me would unintentionally compare me to my sister. I was always extremely flattered because that was who I ultimately wanted to be, but after continuous comparison, it began to be all these leaders saw in me. I was obviously thankful they saw bits of her in me, but I felt like no one was taking the time to get to know me or who I was as a person- I was just a little sister. Once my sister decided to rush and joined ADPi my junior year of high school, I decided I wouldn’t rush to avoid the possibility of just being seen as her shadow.

From my junior year of high school to the summer before I came to college, I met many of her “sisters” within ADPi. Every time I met one of the women she gushed about when she would talk about her sorority, I knew they were extremely special people. When it came time for me to prepare coming to college, I began to think more about the possibility of rushing. I knew my sister had enjoyed her time in a sorority so much and I was wondering if I should be bold and just go for it. After sitting down with my mom and talking through the options, I decided to give primary recruitment a shot. Once I started the actual recruitment process, I knew I had made the right decision.

            By the time open house rolled around, I had decided I would keep an open mind and not have a bias towards ADPi because of Abby. But the moment I walked inside the doors of ADPi, I knew there was no other option. I was immediately met with respect, kindness, inclusion, and genuineness that could only come from an ADPi. I walked out of my open house round with the biggest smile on my face. Each round after that only left me wanting to be and ADPi more and more. Every time I left my conversations and left the house, I knew I just had to keep coming back.

            The preference ceremony was one of the most impactful moments in my decision. Walking up to the door, I was met with my now big Avery Day. At the time, I only knew her as my sister’s little, but that didn’t stop me from feeling excitement like no other when I saw her walk up to me and hug me so tight. Avery and I’s conversation made me extremely confident in my decision. I remember sitting with her and discussing how at home ADPi made me feel. I told her about how I was hesitant with sorority at first because I did not want to just be a little sister lost in the many other women in the chapter. What she told me next made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. She told me “You are here because you are an ADPi. Not because your sister is here, but because you have what it takes.” The moment she told me this, I knew this chapter saw me for who I was, not just for how awesome my sister is. After my conversation with her, I was able to talk to my sister during the round. This is one of my most cherished memories. We were able to talk about (and cry over) how wonderful this chapter is and how thankful she is that we were both shown the love ADPi has to offer. Leaving that round, I knew my hunch from the very beginning was right: ADPi has something special that can’t be found anywhere else.

            If I could go back and talk to younger me who felt like she was stuck in the shadows, I would tell her a few things. The first thing is being compared to someone does not change who you are. Fortunately, I had the most wonderful older sister to be compared to and while I definitely wanted to be her, I’m not and never will be! I have learned to cherish who I am and what makes me unique :) The other thing I would tell her is don’t dismiss something just because you are afraid. If I had never learned the goodness ADPi offers, I would have never experienced a sisterhood that loves me for me and accepts me for all I have to offer!